Typical Tuesday
It’s good to have everyone back to work. Of course Bonnie still has her moments, but I listen to my ipod and just deal with it. I’m beginning to wonder if her mind is slipping.
I joined a contest at the gym that lasts 8 weeks. It’s been tough. On my 3rd day w/o a Dew, I was wanting one really bad! Today was better. I took water w/ me. Work’s water is nasty. I keep telling myself “I’m in it to win!”
It’s hard getting all the right foods together. I need to get in the habit of putting my meals together the night before work. I’ve gotten in the habit of excercise, so that’s going well. Even doing some at home.
I have an extremely busy month! Fundraiser, Conference, Work, Baby Shower, Massage, Meetings, Orthodontist, Christmas Party, Dance. I’m looking forward to it though. I ran into some friends last week and it was good to be out and about.
I pray for those who are experiencing job loss, debt and hardships. I am concerned a little with my job, but they just hired someone, so hopefully the company knows something possitive.
It’s okay for a woman to be the bread winner and a man to take care of the house. Whatever it takes to make things work. I was the one w/ a fulltime job, all the time, and Maynard did a great job as a stay at home dad. I came home to supper more often than not, driveway was always plowed, dishes done, etc. Of course he did work for many years, but not as regularly. It’s what worked for us.
Thank God For All You Have and realize that is how it is.
Myrtle
Answered Prayers
God answered my prayer. I have moments when I miss Maynard alot and on the 30th of Dec I layed down to take a nap. I thanked God and also asked that I was given strength for my boys and that I could have a sign that Maynard was still with me. As I was dozing off, I went into a dream that I was on an ATV riding on the trails just like Maynard & I used to do.
After a few months of restlessness I finally felt at peace. I knew that he was still w/ me. I also felt a good feeling about JD. The one who has chosen to be with me…despite our age and my situation.
It’s like being in love with two people, but can only have one physically. How does one get over losing a spouse? I’ve asked myself this many times. It’s got to be worse for those that have been married for 50+ yrs.
Thank God For All You Have and realize that is How It Is.
Myrtle
I Miss Who I Was
I miss who I was and had a meltdown lastnight.
I had a blow up w/ JD after a week and a half of holding something in. An incident occurred where we ran into someone I had gone to school w/ and this person was drunk and loud and we were in a quiet restaurant/bar and the drunk guy made it known who I was and how I had helped him pass school. This embarrassed JD and is the first time I saw a side of him I didn’t really like. His comment pissed me off and I stewed about it until lastnight.
It made me feel like I wasn’t suppose to have a past and I know so many people! Maynard and I were like the ‘power couple’ early in our marriage. We partied and spent alot of time w/ friends from many towns.
I have been missing the relationships I had w/ people from my past. Maynard was a possessive asshole, but I never felt like I was on a leash. I could come home after a night out w/ the girls and tell him about my adventure…even if it included some idiot trying to pick me up and my girlfriend whisking me away from someone who was a little wierd and telling me not to worry…she was armed that night. She was licensed to carry because of an ex who threatened her.
JD is a quiet person and enjoys spending time w/ me…which I should love, since Maynard went through times when he spent so little time w/ me. I do like doing stuff w/ JD, but there are only a couple friends that I still hang w/ and sometimes I want the whole picture. Being able to walk into a place and have people know me, even the drunks. I miss the casual conversations and catching up w/ people.
It’s good to get that off my chest. I also started wearing my old wedding ring again…on my pinky finger. It’s a pretty ring, why let it sit in a box?
I’m sure there will be more later, just empty in the head right now.
Thank God For All You Have and realize that is How It Is.
Myrtle
Stimulous Check Revised
It appears that I didn’t clarify on how I really think about the stimulous checks, by what I had brainstormed about recently…since it sounds like a second check is in the works.
First of all, I have been a fulltime worker for almost 25 yrs in a factory that is affected by the global market. I get nervous when there are layoffs. After 18 yrs at my current job, I was at the bottom of the seniority list. I was told that this was not a coincidence, but that they didn’t want to lose me. That was 4 yrs ago and thank God things have turned around.
I believe that everyone should be responsible for their own debt and should know how much debt you can pay. I will be honest and admit that I don’t know alot of details about how big corporations, banks, insurance companies, etc. operate…but I don’t think that gov’t should be bailing them out like they have been. I’m sure there are other options…especially when you later find out that there are lavish parties and vacations going right along w/ these bailouts. I could go on about this, but there is alot going on that I don’t believe is the right thing to do.
On a personal level, as in people in general, we have become a society where we “just can’t live w/o” a cell phone, satellite TV, expensive cars, lavish homes, brand name clothes and the list goes on.
I drive a car that’s 11 yrs old, live in a house that was built in 1920, buy clothes from consignment shops, garage sales and sale racks. I refuse to pay full price for clothes!
I DO NOT THINK WE SHOULD RECEIVE ANOTHER STIMULOUS CHECK!!! Teach your kids how to scrape by! Say “No” to them when their buddie shows up w/ a new phone and then want’s one too. I’ve had to do this several times. Within a week the desire is over. Kids are not stupid…but little manipulators! This usually starts at age 3.
I do not believe that gov’t should have control over our lives. There have been terms for this since Obama’s name came into play. Communism, Socialiam…whatever you want to call it. I didn’t vote for this type of life or future and was sick to my stomach for several days after the election.
I hope this clears up any negative thoughts about my previous brainstorm.
Keep your comments coming, I love feedback!
Thank God For All You Have and realize that is How It Is
Myrtle
How to “Stimulate” the Economy
I’ve been hearing about a second stimulous check, but there is talk about how people will probably pay bills and not make the purchases the gov’t wants them to make.
I came up w/ this idea a few days ago and thought I’d share.
Instead of a stimulous check, why not have the people (us) designate where we would like a gift card to. Or maybe get more than one gift card. There is Best Buy, Amazon, Sears, Kohls, Neiman Marcus and the list goes on. This way there are actual purchases being made. Makes sense to me and others have liked the idea too.
Thank God For All You Have and realize that is How It Is
Myrtle
Will Things Start Looking Up?
Do you feel like you’re doing all the right things as a parent and your kids still screw up? I feel like a failure…and it made me cry.
I’m here for them, I don’t sit in the bars or do alot of socializing outside the home, I teach them right from wrong and explain the consequnces and it just breezes right through their simple little minds.
I know they need to learn from their mistakes, but some things are so STUPID!
First, I do love my boys very much and I want them to be good citizens and contribute to society. However… I do not like kids…I don’t have much patience for them and sometimes wonder why God gave them to me.
D & J were so strong for me when their dad died and brought me back to reality when I was having a bad day and I love having them around. I’m beginning to think that maybe I need some counseling. I was hoping that bloggin would help, but I’m not sure it is.
I’m so thankful for JD and his patience. He was sent to me by God and I want him in my life forever. A couple weeks ago I was babbling about my day, and JD was focused on a football game and I told him I’d quit rambling on and he said he’d listen to me forever. It was a special moment for me. It was the first time forever was said…even though we talked about marriage. Crazy thought, huh?
Well, tomorrow is another day.
I went to the gym today and they got these cool bikes where you’re like in a video game and keep your scores, etc.
I also worked in a different department these past few days.
I’m driving a loaner vehicle, cus some old fart in a truck backed into my car and it needs to get fixed. I don’t have a window and my door doesn’t work. The Ford I’m using could fit into the truck of my Chrysler. What a change! It’s like driving a go-cart.
Anyhow…
Thank God For All You Have and realize that is How It Is.
Myrtle
Emotional Meltdown
I’ve had a hard past week and I didn’t really see it coming. I thought I had moved on after the death of my husband, but this past weekend marked three years and I was pretty much a mess. No matter what anyone did, it just wasn’t enough. And now I feel bad.
First my sister in law called to inform me that her granddaughter was being baptized, but her son relies on her to do too much and assumed she had gotten ahold of me. It’s his daughter and he needs to grow up and take on adult responsibilities.
I had to set up an expo Saturday, and w/ it being Leaf Season…we have those in the midwest…where the leaves turn colors before falling off…and the turnout was not good.
JD and I went out for dinner and a couple drinks and he pretty much ignored me the whole time we sat there. College football was on. Then he made a comment about bringing along his PSP and I informed him that wasn’t allowed when we were on a date. He used to be such a hands-on guy…you know, a hand on the thigh, arm across the back of the chair, etc. NOTHING Saturday night. And it hurt so bad. It was one of the things that attracted me to him was that he wasn’t afraid of PDA. I told him it’s hard to compete w/ football and video games. I’m working 60 fricken hours a week and I went on a date w/ a back and a pair of shoulders. Should’ve just put the damn pj’s on and curled up on the couch.
Sunday I worked and he tried to get some answers out of me, but it’s hard to talk when you’re on the verge of a meltdown. This is the first time in 2 1/2 yrs that I felt so distant from him. I didn’t like it. Before bed I could have cried myself a river, but I held on. I probably would have felt better, but then there would be more questions why I’m like this.
Today I just wanted to stay home from work and get caught up on stuff. I do feel a sick day coming on.
I love my family so much, and I know things change over time, but when something good comes to an end its hard for me. People see me as being so strong, but I cover up more than I realize.
Thank God For All You Have and realize that is How It Is.
Myrtle
Too Much Media Influence
I am sick of the media telling me how I should feel!
They try to have such an influence of this whole economic thing, whereas the company I work for is setting sales records, working OT and when times are tough we do well.
I am probably losing money in my 401(k), but that’s the risk I took when I signed up for it 20 yrs ago.
To a degree I think it’s about time for things to get back on track. I’ve been saying for years that housing prices can’t stay like this forever and I’m just a factory worker w/ no little college education.
Use some common sense people!!! Live a life you can afford and don’t worry about what those around you have. I always figured that there are people who make more money than me, but these people also have more debt, which makes me, in reality to have more money. They have a $200,000 house w/ payments that go w/ it and my house is only a $127,000. THEY SERVE THE SAME PURPOSE!!!!!
I better quit cus I’m just getting rolling and I gotta go to my $25,000 a year job.
I’m sorry so many have lost alot of money, but in some cases it’s a risk you took and you knew it. Also, you are suppose to BUY when stocks are low and SELL when they are high, so just hang in there.
If Obama gets elected it will probably get worse.
Thank God For All You Have and realize that is How It Is.
Myrtle
One-sided Relationships
Life continues it’s rollercoaster ride and it was a wild one this weekend!
My boys pissed me off and both are on my shit list! I have come to realize that my #1 son is just like his father and I’d rather not put up w/ that crap anymore. Life for me is about half over and it’s time for me to get selfish. I told him that if he continues on the road he’s traveling on I want him out!!!!! I’ve had enough of his disrespectful attitude. I guess I’ve done too much for him and he appreciates nothing!
The other one is grounded because he thought it more important to do the dirtbike thing than to go to a family reunion. Yeah, I know they can be boring, but it’s not often we all get together. So he finally brought some homework home to pass the time. Plus he mowed the yard for the second time this week.
I told them that the only one that gives a damn about me is my boyfriend and that I should switch my beneficiary to him. Life insurance, 401(k), house, motorcycles, everything.
Other stuff on my mind is what to do w/ one-sided relationships. I have invited the same people to my home for different events and not many show. These are my family members and now I’m turning the tide. I’m invited to a baby shower for my nephew’s wife, and because she has snubbed me, I’m not wasting my time going to that. Maybe if she would have said something to me at the reunion I would have thought about it, but screw her.
I also had to inform a past friend (since childhood) to quit sticking her nose into my business. She is one of those that knows alot of people and will share your life, not in your favor, w/ people you don’t even know. Like they really care about me.
Boy…I sound like such a bitter person, but I really do have a heart of gold and will be there for someone in need. It’s just that relationships wane and it seems that they are all going at once. To fix my dilemna I started a part-time in hopes to meeting new people and moving on.
I used to be the person that others came to w/ their darkest secrets because they can trust me and I am a good listener. I would ask them questions instead of giving them answers.
Anyhow, life around here is going to be a challenge for awhile, but hopefully my oldest son gets what he has coming to him and he knows I’m not going to bail him out this time. I’m not giving up my life for a 19 yr old disrespectful brat!
Thank God For All You Have and realize that is How It Is.
Myrtle
My Favorite Day & Much to Say
I’m not a bible banger, but I pray often and mostly for others. Along with many others I prayed that Gustav would weaken and spare those in the Gulf. I then thanked God for answering my prayers.
When I meet someone or hear of someone going through difficult times in their life, I will say a quick prayer asking God to watch over them as soon as I walk/drive away.
You don’t have to get on your knees or be in a quiet place. Just do it.
So I have a floating holiday today and got to see my boys off to school. I love this day! I get to clean, do stuff around the house, go to the gym, chiropractor and maybe a bike ride…if it doesn’t rain.
It’s a single coworkers 41st b-day so I’m going to get her a card and a candle. We were commenting that we haven’t burnt candles lately, but I’ll bet she does this one. I’ve known Ann since I started 21 yrs ago, but our lifestyles were different and we didn’t get too close. Now we work next to each other and have more things in common.
I’m hoping that people don’t rip on Gov. Palin about her pregnant daughter. There are many people in this situation. I’m not sure what Dr. Laura has to say, but I’m sure she’s thinking that this woman should have been home raising her kids instead of the political ring.
I’m telling you, I was the bread winner in the family while my husband did most of the diaper changing and feeding and whatever else goes w/ raising kids. He was also a man that hunted, plowed snow, cut wood, kept things running, cooked, worked a job almost half of our relationship, and could kick anyone’s ass…for a little guy.
So if Gov. Palin has a good guy behind her, I say more power to her!
I was talking to a guy this past weekend about the immigration/welfare situation and I told him I thought that if an American doesn’t want to a job that a Mexican or other nationality is willing to do, we should just trade the people. Let the alien stay and contribute and send that lazy government recipient to a third world country w/ no money and see how he/she survives. It’s a win win thing!
Something else I’ve been saying for about 4 yrs now is that if you want government help or unemployment you should have to take a routine drug test. We have to piss in a cup to get a job…you know, to contribute to society…but you don’t have to piss in a cup to sit home a collect a check. That’s a messed up rule there! I wonder how many drugs are bought w/ government money. Maybe they trade food stamps for drugs?
Thank God For All You Have and realize that is How It Is.
Myrtle
